Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
