Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
