Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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