who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
