Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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