she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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