that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
