Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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