So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I need water and some morals
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
