I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
