Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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