I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
