Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
