I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
