Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
