I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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