Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
