we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
