Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
