sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
