We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
