At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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