cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
