So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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