return my video game
ugly people sure do ruin things
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
