Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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