I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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