Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
