It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
