after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
