i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
