He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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