At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
