Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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