i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
