We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
