4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
