Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
