Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
