can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We talked him into tasing himself.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
