im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
