so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
