Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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