I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
