I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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