She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
