once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I AM VODKA MAN
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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