The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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