physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
