Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize