No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
