just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
