So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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