If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
