we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
