They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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