Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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